When we are born, the human complex that we have must be acclimated to the world around us. It is the job of our caregivers to do that to the best of their ability. Our first 6 or 7 years are quite critical to determine how comfortable we will find ourselves in this world. That programming will also determine how capable we are of stretching our comfort zone to include new experiences and achievements.

A sizable problem for most of us is the lack of understanding how our comfort zone works—the programmer’s language. What would our life be like if we chose what we wanted to create in our life, in our work, or in the world around us, and we could stretch our comfort zone to make that happen? Many of us don’t know the answer to that question.

A part of our human complex is like a robot; it functions on autopilot mode. Many call it the subconscious mind. If a robot is programmed to carry out specific functions, it can’t be expected to change its activities unless its programming is altered. The part of the human complex that represents our comfort zone works the same way. Our first attempts at acquiring new skills are often uncomfortable; so too are situations in life that we experience for the first time. 

Learning to drive is a good example of this. New drivers are quite nervous, and without a patient person skilled at helping them change their comfort zone, learning to drive can be an overwhelming experience for everyone involved—right parents? After programming the human complex with the learning and beliefs necessary to confidently drive the car, it doesn’t take long for autopilot driving skills to develop and we find ourselves pulling into our driveway without consciously thinking about how we got home.

This concept of growth is constantly at work in our lives. As we learn to stretch the edges of our comfort zone by seeking out new, challenging experiences, we come to appreciate the uncomfortable feelings that accompany growth. However, without some skilled guidance, certain amounts of change can create overwhelming feelings that can lead to traumatization, resulting in a diminished comfort zone—the opposite of growth.

When we gain a better understanding of the comfort zone—the programmer’s language—each of us can increase that zone to encompass the life we want and the person we want to become.

Kelly McCormack is a human development technologist who specializes in the ultra-productive, ultra-conscious, ultra-connected human state called “flow”. She is the author of the three-book series, Creating a Leader. Her 30 years of working with leaders combined with intensive personal awareness work help her share transformative frameworks that make consciousness accessible. Learn more at CreatingALeader.com.